the month of high expectations

(Desk calendar from Josephine Kimberling)

I write this knowing already that I am not alone... but I love/hate August. I love it because it's my birthday month. I love it because it's full of parties and picnics and time spent outside. But seriously, I hate it. I blinked and June and July happened. 

I think summer in general is full of unfulfilled expectations- for those who are home with kids, for those who are planning vacations... for those who just wanted to experience it and appreciate it and enjoy it. My depression about August already arriving probably has something to do with the fact that it is (or what seems like) a frozen tundra here where I live for about 6 MONTHS. 

But this year I'm doing something very rare for me: I'm actually taking an entire week off of work. I haven't managed to make that happen for 5 years. Five. Unless you count my luxurious and relaxing 6 week maternity leaves. Full-time job with little vacation + husband with no paid vacation + small children = my life for the last few years. But this year I gained an extra 5 days, plus ended up with a week of no sitters, so staycation it is!

I have already started the lists in my mind. "I'm going to get so much done!". I have schemes which involve painting multiple pieces of furniture as well as entire rooms, organizing paperwork (whoa, it's embarassing people), turning our bedroom into a tranquil sanctuary so my son stops asking me how come I'm allowed to leave my room so messy and he has to clean his, add 500 additional items to the Etsy shop, complete several designs for my amazing friend who is starting a business of her own, develop an entire pattern collection on Spoonflower, host a party for 30 some people, and totally have a lot of quality time relaxing with my kids. Wait, what? I can't do all of that? All stay at home moms are laughing at me right this very minute.

Have you ever walked around the house and felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of things you want to accomplish, for yourself, for your family, for your general sanity? I had this kind of morning. I only really have Saturdays and Sundays (and the wee wee hours of the night) and sometimes I let it get to me. I need to start praying now about that last week in August where I have already planned to have all of my dreams come true. Praying that I manage to remember that even if I only accomplish one of the above, it's better than sitting at my desk for 40 hours, and driving to and from work for another 6. 

I had to write myself a note on the chalk wall:

ONE PROJECT AT A TIME IS BETTER THAN NONE.

But I better get them all done. That's possible, right?